My parents, like most parents were always telling my sister and I how to behave and what not to do. Throughout our lives, like many children, most of their advice fell on ears that quite honestly, did not want to hear what we were being told. That did not mean that the advice was wrong or did not work, but simply that we were not ready to hear it back in the days when the advice I heard the most was to “Always be home by the time the streetlights came on.” Good advice when the dangers of darkened streets were much less foreboding than they are today, but not very practical when working in the corporate world. Some of their advice, however, has survived intact throughout the years and I would like to share a few of what I learned from my parents back when television was broadcast in black and white and baseball was enjoyed on our trusty transistor radios, under the covers with the volume turned way down.
- Get a good education– While this may seem a bit self-serving at this point in my career, I can fully attest to the value of a solid college education. My advanced college degree has served me very well over the years and the information I learned in those classrooms has applied directly to my chosen profession in both the corporate and academic worlds. There is, indeed, great value in learning and applying skills and knowledge and the value of that education far exceeds the time and money you will invest. I always advise my students to pursue a degree in something that interests them, and these days, it is also essential to fully understand how that education can lead directly to employment upon graduation, the process of learning how to think and solve problems, to function as an educated adult, those skills can and will be used for a lifetime. A college education will give you that….and much, much more.
- Always tell the truth. Easy to say, tough to apply every day. However, this sound piece of advice, heard at some point by all of us, is certainly true. “Little white lies,” used to not hurt someone, fall into the gray area of this sound advice, but, by and large, always attempting to tell the truth, is a rock-solid way to go through life. At the very least, you will not always have to remember elaborate details of your deceptions and, let’s face it, most of us are just not all that good at telling lies. I have had the privilege of working with a few experts in the field of detecting lies and uncovering employee theft and from those experts, I discovered numerous “tells” or indications that what is being said is not really entirely accurate. Spouses, significant others, siblings, parents and close friends can always tell when what we are saying does not seem to match up with the facts. Our parents were right, tell the truth, it is a whole lot easier that way.
- Be good to your sister. I wish I had always followed this good advice, but I can report that I really did try to be a better brother. While not the best of role models, I can report that a good family relationship is very important and it is those relationships that really will stand the test of time. Your siblings will, ideally, be with you long after your parents have exited the stage and they know you better than almost anyone. Your brothers and sisters understand the “real you,” because they were along for the ride as you figured out just what that “you” would become. They have laughed with you and at you, have celebrated your successes and comforted you in times of trouble, they have grown up with you and know much more about you than you may care to admit. Simply put, there is no substitute for a sound relationship with your siblings.
- Always put in an honest day’s work. My father was a doughnut baker when I was growing up and his work ethic was legendary. He worked six days a week, mostly overnights, as the doughnuts had to be ready for the morning rush hour, and, as such, would leave for work around 9 pm, and not get home until 7 in the morning. I never remember him taking a sick day and when I visited him in the bakery he was constantly in motion. He gave 100% every day and kept a great sense of humor about him all the time. He believed that his job was important that he owed his employer a full day of work for his pay and over time, became a role model to me about how to approach your work. Give it your total effort, one day at a time, keep at it and you will have no regrets. While my father gave me this advice often, it was how he modeled it that I remember the most. If my dad was on the job, you knew it would be done right, every time, every day.
- Treat others the way you want to be treated. Yes, the golden rule, but possibly the best advice I ever received. As we all know, it so very difficult to follow, especially when other people just do not seem to play by the same golden rules, but, as I learned slowly over the years, this advice is a lot like a boomerang. If you treat everyone with respect, with understanding, with patience and a helpful spirit, it can, in fact, it must come back to you in some way. And, equally importantly, as I have also discovered, someone is always watching and those “someone’s” will most likely be your own children. No matter what you say to them, (including the advice contained above,) it will be your actions that do, indeed, speak much louder than your words. For it is how we treat others that really counts. No matter what field of work we choose, no matter where or how we labor, the true mark of what we really are is revealed in how we behave and treat others. We cannot hide from that truth.
It seemed to me that the older I became, the smarter my parents seemed to become. Things they told me when I was young, and all too frequently chose to ignore, seemed to make a lot more sense when I had children of my own. And, as we have all most likely experienced, we knew we had learned something when the words our parents told us now come out of our own mouths as advice to our own children. Yes, it is, as the song and movie have told us, “The Circle of Life,” but it is in that circle that our lives are lived and the memories of a lifetime are forged and formed. Thanks, Mom and Dad, the streetlights are on and I really am home.