In my 9th year of school, my last before I entered high school, I first heard the marvelous poem by Robert Frost, entitled, “The Road Not Taken.” Little did I know then, what I most certainly understand now, that the final words of that legendary poem, ” I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference,” would so define my life. It seems that at almost every turn or fork in the road, I have tended to select the road that no one either chose or even seemed to want. I boldly raced down that overgrown stretch of dirt and slogged my through it to the next fork, where, of course, the pass less traveled became my favored selection. I was hooked.
Yogi Berra once famously quipped that “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” Much like good old Yogi, I happily, perhaps, naively, picked the path that others always ignored and boldly road it to adventure after adventure. Sometimes, it was immediately obvious that the path I had chosen was indeed the correct one and I happily enjoyed the fruits of my novel option. Many times, however, that path led to despair, rejection, defeat and often needless worry and sorrow. Yet, as I learned many years later, those same troubles often brought with them life’s greatest lessons…lessons I never would have experienced if I had chosen the easier and more popular path.
It has often been said that we learn much more from our mistakes than our successes. If that was truly the case, I would be a genius by now. I have failed many more times than I have succeeded, lost a whole lot more than I have won, repeated the same mistake again and again and been told to quit more times than I can recall. Yet, in spite of all those setbacks, I kept on going down that road that others ignored. Many would call me foolish for those choices.
Now, many years later and hopefully, just a little bit wiser, I am beginning to uncover what I think Robert Frost actually meant by his final stanza. I believe that the difference he is referring to is what happens to an individual who refuses to conform to the wishes and choices of others. That person, who purposely selects that overgrown and ignored road, in fact selects a life uniquely his own. A life that no one else has picked for you or told you you should select because it was “you.” Only you know who “you are and only you should be the one taking that path. That person learns to be unique. That person learns the value of life lived his way.
I have known many people who happily follow the well-worn paths of conformity, blending in, making no waves. They dress alike, eat the same things, attend the “trendy” events and travel in the most visible circles. They take no chances, ride in the wake of others, never question “why” and seem to love to just be part of the herd. I wish them no ill-will, it is simply not the path that I have chosen. It is the path that most people seem to take. It is, without a doubt, the easier path, with many fewer risks.
I am also fortunate enough to live in a time and country when the options I select are not persecuted or outlawed. I am free to be who I want to be and to pursue exactly what I want to pursue. If I want to change my mind on my path, I can do just that….and I have done so many times during my life. It is only after many of these changes of plans, however, that I learned to trust my first decision, a choice I discovered has also led to many other options, roads and adventures and even more possibilities.
Choose your own path, select the path that you know in your heart is the right one for you. You will know you are on the proper road when people, opportunities and blessings seem to appear out of nowhere, just when you need them the most. These hints along the way keep you on your chosen path, no matter how many obstacles or problems arise. After all, it is your path, you picked it, you sense it is the right thing to do. You can feel it in your bones. It really is the right path for you.
The path that I have chosen has made me, formed me, molded me into the person I am today. I am so far removed from that day in 1966 when I first read Frost’s words. I have heard those words at various points in my life. Once at the funeral of a fallen President, another during the wake for a dear friend. I read them again a few years back, while waiting out a five hour delay at a distant airport and just recently, while talking to an old friend who was in that very same class where I first heard that marvelous poem. He, too, took a different path and is now also beginning to look back on his life, as retirement lurks just over the horizon.
One day you, too, will look back on the road you have taken. Will you see a well-worn highway or a mangled path of brush, broken only by your own steps, not trampled by the feet of many? Will you look back and fully understand what Frost really meant, or will you smile and laugh, while saying, “What a foolish man he was?” I know for certain that I purposefully chose the path less traveled and I now understand that it indeed did make all the difference. Choose wisely. Your unique adventure awaits.