From the time I was very little, I have heard this phrase uttered by my relatives, friends and neighbors, everywhere from north Buffalo to southern Bethlehem and all points in-between. I have been told that it is an old German or Pennsylvania Dutch saying and here in the Lehigh Valley, it has been immortalized on plaques and posters… seemingly almost everywhere.
As the years have passed by and I read those words again and again, I am often reminded not only of how old I am becoming myself, but also how very true this statement actually is. It seems, that by the time we have reached a certain age, it is often too late to take any action at all on all those years of acquired knowledge. And therein lies the wisdom, as well as the terrible tragedy of those six simple words.
Why is it, with so much knowledge available to us, do we constantly repeat the mistakes of our ancestors? How can we, with just a few clicks of a mouse, be so able to access the very advice that we desperately need….choose to not seek the advice we sorely need? Why do we not learn from history and the events of days gone by? As that old folk song once cautioned us, “The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind.” And it seems that the wind does not often like to tell tales.
“If I knew then what I know now.” My father used to utter those words frequently. When I would ask him what he meant by it, he would simply tell me that “One day you will know.” And he was correct. That day has arrived. If only I knew the consequences of my actions back in my youth and was able to correctly apply that knowledge, I would be______. Fill in the blank with any wonderful goal, dollar amount or career choice. “If only.” Two very powerful and dangerous words indeed.
You see, for every choice we make, another option is rejected. Another path is ignored and a new path is blazed. Like dominoes, our choices knock down another and then another and if we dare to look back we will see not only a line of fallen dominoes, but a path of broken dreams, as well. Of course, new dominoes appear in front of us, stretching off into the distance…seemingly an unlimited number of those black and white tiles. Yet, as we grow older we begin to realize that the pile of fallen tiles behind us is indeed finite and the paths that remain are dwindling. Where would those other unchosen paths have led us? What if I had picked another fork on that road? What lies ahead on my new path? Marvelous and very important questions, without a doubt. Some can be answered, others will never divulge their secrets.
Life is really a lot like those dominoes. We select one domino to knock over, it knocks down one or two more, seemingly of its own accord and one fine day we realize that knocking down that single domino led us down an irreversible path that has brought us to this point in time. Would we have chosen that domino today, or would it now have been another one? Perhaps, given our new information another choice would have been made. Perhaps not. Either way, however we are knocking over new dominoes each and every day of our life. And sometimes, just sometimes, we pause and ask ourselves, “Is this the right domino?” I have found that my answer is “It seemed that way at the time.”
History is littered with the choices that others have made. Some have been very fortunate selections, others, not so much. Most choices, I suspect, mean very little at all. It is however, those select few dominoes, those stalwart ones, whose choice you know is extremely important, those are the ones that really matter. And that, I am afraid is what my father really meant by his statement. Based on what I know now, would I have picked that particular domino, at this stage in my life? Or, given my age, experience, new knowledge, or simply learning from the mistakes of others.. that a new and completely different domino would have been selected? I think we all know the answer to that question, just as the title above states.
In life,there are no “do overs;” but it would be really great if there were. Just imagine what life would be like if we realized we had made an incorrect choice of domino and then were allowed to pick another. Our slate would be wiped clean and we would have the opportunity to try that new path…just to see where it would lead. Wouldn’t that be terrific? It would be much like taking a test drive in that new car. Is that vehicle really as spectacular as the commercial states? Or would I be terribly disappointed? Life would be so much different if we could only get a few “test drives” before we made our final decision. Or would it?
“Too soon old, too late smart.” Yes, but sometimes, older does indeed mean “wiser.”Wise enough to know that we will never really know everything and smart enough to understand the reasons why.