On the final day of October, 2005, I found myself on the long and very lonely highway that connects Corpus Christi, Texas with the city of Laredo. The speed limit is, for all intents and purposes, limitless, but it is casually posted at 75mph. In reality, except for a few small towns and the ever-present sheriffs who patrol them, (I know, I met one of them on 2 separate trips down that highway,) you can almost set your own pace. The key word is “almost.” The scenery is typical South Texas fare, scrub brush, pecan trees and the occasional wayward armadillo. The purpose of that highway only seems to be to race as rapidly as you possibly can to your destination, with as little fanfare as humanly possible. My trip that October day, was anything but ordinary and certainly a ride I will always remember.
As you draw near to Laredo, the highway rises just slightly, as you approach the city limits and if you pay careful attention, you can strain to view your ultimate destination lingering silently, wistfully, off in the distance. That day, October 31st, I was arriving just as the sun was saying farewell and I as I neared the crest in the highway, a faint and flickering glow of many colors was visible about a half mile ahead just off to my right. Having traveled that same road several times before, I knew that there were a couple of cemeteries off to the right and knowing that the night was Halloween, a slight and very real shiver of apprehension began to roll over me.Just what were those tiny colored lights and was that music I could just now begin to hear?
I slowed my vehicle down and as I drew nearer to the colors and distant music, I began to realize that the colors were emanating from hundreds of candles, votive and larger ones and also from other illuminations of lanterns, flashlights, fires and other objects and forms of light. They were everywhere in the cemetery, and along with those candles were literally hundreds of people of all ages, many, if not most, dressed in costumes of all types, kinds and styles. What I did not know then, but know now, is that I was witnessing dia de los muertos, the day of the dead, where families gather to remember and celebrate their relatives and friends who have passed on. The remembrance actually lasts 3 days, from October 31st to November 2nd. Catholics throughout the world also honor those who have died on those days, which include All Saints and All Souls days on the 1st and 2nd of November. I had never before witnessed such an elaborate and sincere celebration of the lives of those dear to us and I was quite moved. The lights, just outside of Laredo, had entered my soul.
What makes that experience even more meaningful is that the dead are remembered with their favorite foods, drinks and treats. Stories are told about lives lived and now gone and memories are shared among relatives, friends, family and all who knew and loved the deceased. While the guest of honor is not visibly present for his or her party, I am confident that they know and feel the love and support that is taking place. There was a spiritual quality to the entire area, that even while I was driving along that lonesome highway, I could still feel in my bones. I believe that is exactly the point of those festivities.
At my own church last night, on All Saints Day, our Pastor had arranged votive candles in front of the altar. Each candle represents one of the parishioners of our church who had passed since last year’s All Saints Day. The candles will be lit, one by one, on November 2nd and the deceased’s name will be mentioned during a special Rosary that will be recited that evening. Pictures of those parishioners will also be placed next to the calendar by their loved ones and the candles will be taken home after the mass by the families of those being remembered. My mind immediately returned to that highway near Laredo and the memories of my own family and friends who had passed on. I could feel their presence at that moment and I quietly reflected on how much they meant to me when they still breathed the rapidly chilling air of early November. I could almost sense their movement.
I recalled the happy days we had spent together,the meals we shared, the stories we told and the adventures we created together. I felt deeply connected to them once more and their spirits were so close, I could almost touch them. On that highway near Laredo, I vividly recall how the candles flickered in the wind and that eerie flickering almost seemed to crack open a doorway to where those spirits now reside. I experienced that same feeling last night. It was almost as if I was peering into a keyhole, straining to see my loved ones just more time; but the more that I concentrated, the less that came into view. I closed my eyes and let the memories flow into me in that manner. Darkness seemed to help.
I will never ponder dia de los muertos quite the same way as before that deeply memorable sojourn to Laredo. The spirits of the dead were clearly present that evening and the souls of the departed most definitely remain present all around us. They remain alive, forever in our hearts, our souls and our minds, whenever we pause and reflect on the times they shared with us while they still walked on this earth. While they may be physically gone from us now, they are not really absent, they are simply somewhere else. Somewhere else where we too will all arrive someday. And then, on another dia de los muertos sometime in the future, a friend or relative, will light a candle for me and those who remain behind will then have their chance to remember what I have done, said and accomplished when I was alive on this earth. Today, I can still the create thestories of my life, build more memories and strive to live my life as best as I possibly can. That is how I can best honor the memories of my friends and loved ones.
I believe that we are all connected, in ways we may not yet fully understand; and as I clearly learned on that trip to Laredo, I now fully comprehend that we will always live on in the hearts and minds of those who love us and know us best…. and that is the way it is meant to be…. as I amazingly discovered, one very magical October’s evening, just slightly east of Laredo, Texas.