In my book, “Words for my Children,” I wrote about what people wish they had done or regrets they had as the hours of their lives wound down. I wrote that it is not working a little longer at a job or wishing there had been just one more sale. No, it is a regret that they had not spent more time with those they love and cherish. It is a sense that there have been missed opportunities to tell those close to us how much they truly matter in our lives. Or, as I wrote in that last chapter, “In the end, it is all about love.” I need to add one more wish to that chapter…. the chance to serve a little more, to become a hero to others.
By a hero, I mean taking stock of what we have done for others, serving the other inhabitants of this, our planet earth. As we inevitably near the end of our journey on this tiny planet tucked quietly into a distant and remote corner of our universe, when we, alone face our final days and hours, it is not how many things we managed to acquire, or how many tasks we accomplished in the office ,no, it is how much we have loved and how much hospitality we showed others that rush to the forefront of our minds as our time winds down. It is people, not things, that really matter.
Serving others can take many forms. My father was a doughnut baker, one of the very best and also one of the most giving. He quietly and without fanfare, gave his excess doughnuts to those less fortunate and he did this without complaint or publicity. In fact, my sister and I discovered his generosity almost by accident. When we wanted to talk to him about all that he had done, he really did not want to speak about it. Giving to others was just a part of who he was. He did not consider it very special. But it was, to those who would have been hungry without him.
My mother was a gifted and talented pianist. She could play so superbly that it often brought tears to the eyes of the many who were lucky enough to have heard her play. As she neared the end of her time on earth, she lived in a retirement home. While residing there, she became renowned for her ability to make the other residents feel better, even as they faced the end of their own journeys. She would play for birthday parties, special events and frequently, just because the piano was there in the lobby. She also played the organ for her church. No sweeter music ever flowed from that piano and organ than when she sat down and played songs from long ago, completely from her memory. Her fingers just seemed to flow over the keyboard. It was a remarkable gift and her hospitality was shared with thousands of people over her lifetime. She was a hero to so many people over her 78 years.
My sister, her husband as well as my niece and nephew also share their gifts and talents with many people; especially the most desperate and needy citizens. As I also recounted in my book, they work with the Buffalo Burrito project, to feed the homeless and most needy in the inner city of Buffalo, New York. Despite recent illness, injury and tragedy, they selflessly continue to give to others from their very special hearts. And that is only one example of the thousands of hours of volunteer work they quietly perform every year. They are truly heroes to the many needy people who would otherwise go hungry. They have also been my personal heroes.
Yet, we can all be heroes to someone…if only we would try. There are so many ways to serve, so many ways to use our talents for good. So many missed opportunities that need not be missed, if only we would take a chance. It does not need to be something big, it can simply be the gift of a few moments of your time, and it could mean so much. I am constantly amazed at how many people tell me that something I said, something I did, which I did not think was big or important at the time, meant so much to that individual. Just taking the time to talk to someone who is lonely, to visit a friend who is sick, to send an email when someone needs encouagement…that could make a huge difference to another human being. It could be everything to that person.
I believe that we are all born to be heroes to someone. All it takes is the courage to make the first move, to say ‘yes” when we have often said “no.” Go that extra mile, give that needed smile, find a need and fill it; be a friend to someone who has no one and I can guarantee that it will come back to you a thousand times. Do not ever regret loving and helping others. Do not wait for the right moment, that moment may never come. Make that decision now to be a hero to someone else and one day, a hero you will surely be.